Fireside Chat, with Thane Billingswood:

Dear Thane,

I recently watched 300 this past week. It was cool. What do you think?

Lovingly yours,

Olan Biermeir
Sandusky, OH

Dear Olan,

I too enjoyed 300. Though to me it seemed to be an incredibly sweaty movie, and I bet the set smelled like an outhouse at a Motorhead concert, the “This is Sparta!” scene did stick with me, and I have found that it has practical applications in real life. Why just the other day I ordered summer peach pancakes at my neighborhood IHOP and the waiter brought me a bowl of lightly sweetened granola, fresh kiwi, and poached quail eggs. I politely asked the strapping young waiter to bring me what I had ordered. When he refused, I calmly stood up and said firmly, “This is Sparta!” I then kicked the waiter in the chest and an enormous hole opened up into which he plummeted to what was sure to be a painful death. What fun!

Best Regards,

TB