Fun Facts About the Man You Have Come to Worship:

I am so much better than 4 year olds at hide and seek. If you ever want to feel better about yourself, find some 4 year olds and make them play hide and seek with you. They suck at hiding! They are always looking around for you, giggling, and asking to go to the bathroom (which, by the way, is not a legal move in my book). Forget therapy, and buy my new DVD: “How to Beat 4 Year-Olds at Lots of Stuff So That You Will Feel Better About Yourself” (the title is a work in progress).