Fireside Chat, with Thane Billingswood:

Dear Thane,

As a struggling cheese sculptor, I have a lot of time to watch old movies. This week, I was craving a little Powers Booth/C. Thomas Howell/P. Swayze action, so I popped Red Dawn in the Betamax and got swept away by their collective magnetism, power, and fashion sense. The movie reminded me of what life was like during the cold war and how we lived each day in rural Colorado in paralyzing fear of being invaded by those bastard Ruskies. I was wondering, what would you do if the Red Dawn scenario raised its ugly head and became a nightmarish reality for us in the here and now (you just know that Iceland is preparing for their moment of fury and that we had better start preparing for that rueful day; the real Axis of Evil pivots on the whims of the power brokers in Reykjavik!)?

Hiding Under My League of Justice Bed Sheets,

Pollard Franks
Rye, CO

Dear Olan,

Pollard, the depth of your words is shattering and forces me to deal with something I think about each day. First, I would go to Starbuck’s for a soy, iced Macchiato because Iceland’s first target would be the coffee forests of Columbia and Sumatra. Second, I would make sure to rent You Got Served to prepare for the inevitability of the dance contest for freedom that Interpol, the CIA, Scotland Yard, and the Reno Police have been predicting for years. Third, I would take a nap. Finally, I would make a desperate attempt to infiltrate the Icelandic airwaves and show re-runs of Mama’s Family. With MF as their only window into what America has to offer, I am guessing that the Icelanders would turn their attention to a more attractive target: Chad!

Sharing Your Paranoia,

TB